Dealing with Toxic “friends”

lifestyle

I sat here thinking how i would start this post. I googled and i searched Pinterest for so many quotes about friendship, relationships and toxic people in the hope i’d find something that would help me start. I realised that i had to look at the main reason i wanted to write this post and that was because of the way i had been treated in the past and recently by toxic people. Looking back on these experiences made me feel a little broken and if this were a book there’d be a few tear marks however since its the 21st century i’m writing to you from my panda covered Apple Mac.

At the ripe age of 25 years old i have had my fair share of friends that have come and gone and the rare few that have been around for a long while. It may seem completely cliche to say this but people come into your life for a reason whether it be bad or good, that reason is to teach you a lesson about life and help you move forward.

Over the last few years i’ve noticed that the older you get the more difficult it is to keep up with each other lifestyles, friends that understand this are genuinely ones who end up sticking around. Those that don’t understand are the ones that fall behind, which brings me to my first toxic friend. I understand some people will reach out to others in times of need however when a friends is saying its not acceptable that you have only seen them once in the last week when you are working and studying full time that is bordering on controlling. Great friends stick around and understand that you may only have a free hour on a Thursday evening for a quick cuppa at a random shopping centre, and that is COMPLETELY OK! I have friends i see once every 3 months and some once or twice a year and thats fine because we both understand that our lives are busy and we are happy to spend those flashing moments with each other because we would rather that then not have each other in our lives.

When your friend is contacting you whether it be via message or call and you see their name pop up on your screen it should bring feelings of joy, happiness, excitement or content. If you are seeing their name pop up and you have a feeling of displeasure, irritableness, discontent or annoyance than obviously there is a massive red flag. You have to ask yourself why would you want to ignore their call or text? is it because they are only calling because they need something? or maybe because you know that whatever they want to do does not match what you want? This could just be because you are growing apart, perhaps this friend is at a different stage in their life to yours and that cause conflicts for you. It could be that you feel like as you get older you are becoming different people with different interests and values. This is okay and will happen within a lot of friendships, don’t try and push friendships just because “it’s the right thing to do”.

It is important to remember there are two sides to every story. Our toxic friend may not have done anything wrong in their eyes and is just doing what they’ve always known and whats natural to them. This is okay because they may feel the same way about us, it’s a difference of opinions, values and morals.

I am one for second chances and going about it in the right way, when someone hurts me it is obviously hard to rebuild bridges specially if those bridges still have a lot of wounds. I have always been told to “ignore bad behaviour” it has something that has been said time and time again by many people i respect, this simple phrase is something i try and always remember. If these people are going to actively attack you in their attempt to “reconnect”, which i feel many times is just an attempt to heal bruised ego’s and relieve some feared guilt, you are to be the bigger person. Being the bigger person to a toxic person is them reaching out to you, trying to call or inviting you out to events planned weeks ago that they “forgot” to invite you to so invite you on the day when someone else brings it up. However the true meaning of a bigger person is when these people are trying to knock you down you are going to smile, make polite conversation, accept invitations to “last minute” gatherings and you stand tall. In the end you have chosen to ignore their bad behaviour be polite like your mumma raised you and you can go home and sleep easy.

Toxic people can use you for different reasons it could be to find our information, you have something they need, you provide them with a sense of doing something good or using you makes them look good in others eyes. Take your pick i’ve had all of these happen to me and most of them by one person. It hurts when you realise these things and most times these things only come to light after they do something that is truely hurtful or they have done something to you just too many times. These people at one point were large parts of our lives, thats why we ignore their poor behavioural choices and be polite before moving on. Slowly moving on with your life after the loss of a toxic friend can be hard because they are something that as i’ve said has had a large impact on your life.

Everyone comes into our life to teach us a lesson. Sometimes it’s hard to see positives in situations or people where we are feeling low from the way that someone has treated us but it’s important to do this to move on. Think of some pleasant memories or the lessons you have learnt from the situation before choosing a path to continue on.

Your future path may be to continue on polite encounters here and there or it may be that you part ways permanently. Whichever you choose make sure you feel comfortable with it, remember that you are the bigger person and to ignore the bad behaviour.

I’ll leave you with a quote by Daniell Koepke that perfectly sums up my feelings towards toxic friends, i hope this brings light onto how you and people around you act, and what you want from life.

“Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have goo intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about , loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”

Every Cent Counts

lifestyle, travel

If you are like me and yearning to go back to your favourite international destination then you know how hard it is to save up that money. Saving all of your spare change can really help, sometimes it may seem small but every penny counts.

On my last holiday the money from my change box ended paying for our Taxi fares to and from the airport equalling almost $200. I highly recommend investing in one of Splosh’s Change boxes, they are cute and give inspiration every time you look at it.

My personal change box as pictured is for my “travel fund” however they come with all different designs for your next adventure, wedding, or shopping trip. At only $30 they also make great gifts!

If you don’t want to buy a money box you can easily make one out of an empty bottle, box or jar you have lying around the house. Add all of those pesky coins floating around your bag or that are taking up bulky space in your wallet. Every cent counts when you’re planning your next holiday.

Browse through Splosh’s collection here.

Top 5 Make up Products

beauty

To start of my beauty blogging i thought i would share my top five favourite make up products. All of these products can be bought from Mecca Maxima or Sephora which you will soon find out are my favourite stores.

My first pick is my Too Faced Born This Way Foundation. This foundation is truely amazing, i have not heard anyone say a bad word about this product and that was one of the main reasons i chose to invest in it. The pump bottle makes getting the right amount for your occasion super easy, I generally use one full pump for a light coverage and two for a night out. It’s light on your skin and long lasting which is what every girl wants, especially since its oil free you don’t get any residue build up across the day or night.

Sticking with the Too Faced family my next pick is my Better Than Sex Mascara. I was recommended to try this mascara almost a year ago as it makes your lashes look thicker and longer. The key is the hourglass shape of the brush which is said to help lengthen your lashes by separating each lash and coating it in the mascara. The shape of the brush also helps curl the lashes upwards, i find doing two coats will help the lash curl look more prominent.

Benefit’s Stay concealer is my got to after discovering it in Sephora Paris almost a year ago. I was on the hunt for a concealer that actually concealed without having to apply a million layers. I generally put a blob of the concealer o the problem spot and use my finger to blend it into my skin. I have previously used a brush however i find it tend to thin the concealer out and not work as well.

Next i’m sticking with the Benefit family and their Goof Proof Eyebrow Pencil. I’ve never had too many issues when it comes to the brows however i thought i better jump on the band wagon and at least give the whole shaping your eyebrows a go. I went in looking for something simple and easy to use and i definitely found it! The name says it all as its definitely Goof Proof with the pencil and brush all in the same product. Ask an assistant in store to help match your colour and they will happily show you some easy techniques to fill in your brow. The angled pencil makes it ridiculously simple to figure it out yourself if you are like me and like to spend minimal time within the shop.

Lastly is my Smashbox contouring palette. This is i think one of the best products i have ever purchased, mainly because i like my make up routine to be simple and easy and this palette makes contouring just that. Inside on the palette’s mirror is a contouring guide that shows you where on the face the different shades go for the best contouring. So simple, easy and you will never forget! I tend to mix my browns together when contouring just for fun because why not?

Benefit products can be found in your local Sephora or Myer stores while you can head over to Mecca Maxima for your Too Faced and Smashbox products. 

What are some of your favourite make up products? Let me know in the comment section below.

Welcome to the wonderful world of TDP

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Well welcome to The Delightful Panda! so glad you chose to stop by and view our Blog. We are currently in the process of uploading some posts over the coming days, so keep your eyes peeled for some seriously good stuff coming your way!

The Delightful Panda or TDP for short is trying to prove all those idiot bitches that they are wrong about Plus size women and that Plus Size bitches can do, like and enjoy everything skinny bitches can. We like honesty so prepare for some swear words and realness coming for ya.

We are however more than just a blog thats going to whinge about how unfair the world can be towards Plus Size women. We will also include some of our fave fashion trends for ALL sizes and beauty favourites.

Combine the fashion and beauty talk with some lifestyle and travel advice and you’ve got the TDP all wrapped up in a nutshell.

Can’t wait for you to join us on this ride so go and click that follow button, find us on Insta and get ready for some awesome shit coming your way!